Friday Humor

You know you're a redneck when...

+ You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.
+ You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
+ Your boat has not left your driveway in 15 years.
+ You burn your yard rather than mow it.
+ The Salvation Army declines your old mattress.
+ You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
+ You come back from the dump with more than you took.
+ You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
+ Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas wish list.
+ You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
+ Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
+ You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
+ You can spit without opening your mouth.
+ You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
+ You have a complete set of salad bowls. They all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
+ The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
+ Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
+ You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
+ You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

And last, but not least...
+ Somebody tells you that you have something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!